I place one cheerio in my mouth and suck my lips I look around and moan I chew no teeth another cheerio in my mouth I stir my hand around the silicone plate my right hand a fist in my left hand I pick it up the cheerios with index finger and thumb equally with the left and right the index fingers rub across the silicone I pull and it doesn’t give another cheerio I want out of my high chair another cheerio I use my small hands to push off I’m choking I have resolved the choke to push her off from the table a little bit more the high chair does not budge chewing slamming my hands moaning a small smile eyebrows raise a gaze I laugh at my ugly father some coughing though no choking another cheerio grabbed in a fist another cheerio a pincer grasp I’m mumbling I like the noises I make I reach for the milk I pull up the silicone mat I push a cheerio onto the floor I push a second cheerio onto the floor I’m looking for something oh I see a roaring noise roar I bring the silicone mat up down up I hold it in mid-air I flip it I chew it push the mat make mouth noises flip it one arm up one arm pulling the silicone mat moaning pushing a quick drink of milk a raspberry I flick the nipple I intimate as though I want milk I refuse the bottle I pull my father’s sweater the wrist the arm I poke I poke I poke I bite my father no teeth dang it cough I scratch at his new tattoo scratch right hand left hand left hand scream scratch my father pulls his hand away I reach for the water am I drinking I’m drinking I pull the straw from the silicone cup and gag myself I reach for the silicone cup spill it across the table the water drips slowly from a small hole that has been inverted spin the bottle unintentionally I want water do you want water I drink from the bottle like a big girl I retrieve the cap from my father I groan into the silicone cap I push air and vague sounds from my throat I chew the silicone cap some more no teeth I drop the silicone cap on the floor more water drunk most swallowed some dribble down my chin
Tag: children
Artifacts of Reference, No. 67
x+1 of 100 (after Matisse’s Piano Lesson)
1 of 100
LEYELP
half-thinking
willfully lets go
being construct-
ed; persp-
ective—
archival
figuration of size
metronome
boy, half-finished
hung in the distance
femme au tabouret
la femme assise
candlestick
figure of woman
hands engulfed
outdoors
beyond
window flattened
a tone
leaf
white oak
inside flat gray
decisive
wrought iron
pile of
debris
bedframe
balcony rail
2 of 100
of
debris
bedframe
boy, half-thinking
willfully
let’s go
bedframe
boy
half-finished
hung
in the distance
femme au
tabouret
assise
candlestick
figuration
PLEYEL
half-finished
half-hung
in the distance
la femme
…
Context 0309-102016
Context 1142
03092016
Context 1150
they’ve all been in my mouth my favorite books
Context 1153
a great fighter against the official verse culture marjoram perloff
Context 1156
the playground kids are right: to shriek is righteous
Context 1201
Context 1208
Bernstein : not enough poetry gets reviews in publications with wide circular: big-city newspapers, the news weeklies, and the National journals of culture and opinions.
Context 1215
Bernstein: the oxygen of publicity matters quite a bit. Poetry thrives and survives nurtured by its committed readers and practitioners.
Context 1224
Master of Confirmation Bias
Confirmation Bias King
Fiefdom of Seek and Ye Shall Find
Context 1231
aid or foment this disinterest
Context 1232
I can’t believe my SwiftKey dictionary has a smaller vocabulary than me
Context 1237
the great zeitgeist assassination trump
Context 1245
do I fast or drink more coffee, should I give up being sober? Iced coffee sounds nice. I can hear the cubes calling out. Is another drug really the answer? More questions? Paper or plastic? hitler or pol pot or bush? Outrage or indifference? Iced coffee or red bull or nothing shut up?
Context 1349
Lifter Puller doing 80 down the turnpike, sunroof agape. Why do I tolerate the winter? I want the nice-nice up in blazes.
Context 1426
While his parents slept, this 7-year-old boy’s life was saved by Jedi, his diabetes-sniffing dog
Context 1917
have any of you seen this? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeanne_Dielman,_23_quai_du_Commerce,_1080_Bruxelles is it any good?
or
Note to self: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeanne_Dielman,_23_quai_du_Commerce,_1080_Bruxelles
Context 1919
bogus hed alert: Nancy Reagan begins final journey to husband’s side
Context 2122
Holy shit what beauty
Context 0112
03102016
I’m going to point toward everything and render the garbage world to sleep; to sleep
Wikipedia Poem, No. 90
it eliminates these mephitis have suffered in sub-zero It is abhorrent the slaughterhouse, many are extreme These scavenging carcasses when trucked to suffered in silence Laboring animals, the video The misery of prey of egg-laying has suffering under weight and plucked Would it eliminate change is abhorrent these mephitis has suffering has been well-documented Would it eliminate change is least like a birds also clearly are enduring under weight and pluckednd pluckednd pluckednd pluckednd pluckednd plucked Would it eliminate change is abhorrent the suffering the suffered i
Wikipedia Poem, No. 59
“children of antigovernment resistance/surface/like/cold skin”
what he said: “We as many as many as many Assyrian Emporers from the children of antigovernment resistance surface like cold skin that move those captured” Now the Syrian Empire the 12 villages in northeastern Syrian antigovernment principle among them bent on releasing a new exchange formed in the release of contacts in the scores of the captured The Assyrians the Islamic State the holybranch of Hasaka in recent contacts incident artifacts exchanged formed in the past two days bringing to ancient form in northeastern Syrian Democratic flighting media-tory blasts
wikipedia poem, no. 42
the stranger's body's so awfully glad the USA stranger's body's still so awfully glad to be conscripted to be a brain to be here for you all a useless day? to be conscribed to confidence By the same useless day? a stranger's body's some awful-loan the stranger's body's all to consider disappointing to be here all I ever wanted Can I get another day to be
untitled 09182014
experimental meditation poem, no. 1
I lost it
what is it
objects mean
where is it happening what
him her shrinking away from the window what
does it mean
him her
you keep saying it but what does it mean
him her
him her
him
1,000,000 miles away
closer closer closer closer closer
a million miles away just stayed away
just to stay away a phone call away the trash
can reach out I
can reach out I
don’t want to reach
out I want to reach out I
can’t reach out with what hands with
what feeling with what emotion with
what connection with what 1,000,000 miles
away I keep saying
but what does it mean do I
want to do I
want him
know I
want her
to do I
want him do
I want myself
do I
know myself
cannot be
myself can
I know myself
him her
him him
him him
him her
hand
in her
her hand in her
what do I want when
do I want it
why
do I want to do I
want to do I
wanted him just 1,000,000 miles
away so so close no
closer what
do I want can’t decide
why
do I shrink
away from the window
wide wishing away from the window
when he comes closer
was running
away from the window when he comes
closer what do I want
to get from the window what
do I want to see you
know
what kind of light do I see
in the window
to experience walking
away from the window what
do I experience staying closer
to the window why
meditate one meditate why
come closer
we come
close at hand
her her keep saying
it but what does it
mean her
her her her her hand
him
him walk
Keep talking that’s what’s the problem
just keep talking just
keep talking because I need you
don’t stop talking. Recording keep talking
keep talking keep talking keep talking you’re not
ready
yet you’re
not
you’re not interested
I’m not ready
what are you ready for you
not ready
you’re not ready
to talk to you
to listen you’re not ready to
talk and ready
to listen
keep talking
what is it what
is it to listen
how do you listen how
does one learn to listen how
does one learn to need how
does one learn to learn to learn
learning leans into learning and
learn to lean into learning hope
for some learning and learn something to lean into
learning and sale do you sail what’s for sale what is for sale sale items only do you lean into learning and
sell something do you sell what you’re sailing
do you do well to sell what you learning
you lean into learning to sail into selling
what do you learn from this sale what
do you earn what do you learn to earn what do
you turn in
selling your sails what do you sale towards
a leaner you
him her
him her
I keep saying it but what does it mean
you keep saying it but what do you mean
I’m building something like a palace-like
you’re like a yurt like a palace
small no no no
more
like a heart made of leaves
and memories and
what do I use to find the leaves
what kind of palace do I want to sell
what do I learn what do I sail
what kind of sales will I use to bind the leaves
sales sales sales
This distraction where does it come from
where’s it going what her
you keep saying it but what
do you mean this distraction
this distraction
this color coming from this screen
this distraction this pixel this point
this point stretched out over the horizon
this picture
him her what does it mean where you going
him hurt
you keep saying it what does it mean this
distraction this pixel this point this poke this
what you’re trying to build this what
does it mean why
do you need to bind the leaves that leave
us here why have her why this leaf leaves us here’s
him hurt
you keep saying it but what does it
mean what are you building
what are you trying to build
what do you live
what are you living where are you going
you losing the message pay attention to
him her him
what are you saying what
do you mean what
are you saying what does it mean
him focus
him him him
focus you and him 1,000,000 miles away
him what does it mean what are you looking for
what do you want then then
him
focus what are you saying
what does it mean what does
he mean
him him him him
untitled, 012520142200
what characters?
what images?
then
what emotions?
& how that
blankness
projects, flickers
onto the clean
white wall. where?
where is the heroism?
(cocksure bravado of loss?
the drowning son
saltwater bites his lungs
his inutile hand
breaking the ocean’s lens?
ooh, there
I’ve gone and given it
away—retreat!
peel through the pteridophyta
knee-high, back to skull-island.
they’ll remember you if you tell them
who? what character?
which image? emotion?
and what will they boil
for tea that morning
after his funeral
— well attended
— tastefully adorned (not too colorful
— a slow silent sob, no one weeps (not even …
will it be black or green or chamomile
over-steeped or sweetened? how
at a time like this, can one decide
so freshly alive, so gravitationally piqued
washed red-raw with compassion?
those old films
now significant, so
wall space, interior
as if the boy were climbing
our orange tree
higher, then higher
his fearless lungs full
of bitter citrus.
when?
what’s lost?
again, what emotion?