From day to day In the Qutang Gorge The times of tides Seem easier kept Than the words of men
Times I wish I were A boatman’s bride.
Source: Wong, May, translator. In the Same Light: 200 Poems for Our Century: From the Migrants & Exiles of the Tang Dynasty. First US edition, The Song Cave, 2022.
Once, I was afraid of dying In a field of dry weeds. But now, All day long I have been walking among damp fields, Trying to keep still, listening To insects that move patiently. Perhaps they are sampling the fresh dew that gathers slowly In empty snail shells And in the secret shelters of sparrow feathers fallen on the earth.
Source: Wright, James. Above the River : The Complete Poems. A Wesleyan University Press ed. Farrar Straus and Giroux ; University Press of New England 1992, p. 142.
Here: hold this handful of hail until it hurts. Hold this hog as it howls. Hook its hooves. Hold this hood over its eyes. Hold this hornet in your mouth. Hush, you’re home. How horrible is too horrible? How many holes is too many for a hull? Hold the hen, behead the hen, crush the unhatched chick. This is how it feels to be held, held in a headlock, held hostage in your own house. Would you hack off your hands to escape? Helplessness becomes habit, your habitat, where you feel most at home. Heft the hissing snake around your hips. Hold the hemlock to your lips. Do you feel homesick yet? Here: hold this flag, hold this heirloom handgun, cock the hammer. Is it heavy? Huddle together, hunker down. Here come the hounds. Brace as if for a hurricane. Stop holding out for help. Stop holding your breath. It is an honor to live here. It is an honor to live hamstrung, hand- cuffed to harm. It is an honor to be hopeless. It isn’t hell, it’s holiness. It’s the hill you’ll die on. You saw what happened to the hen. Better to be the hawk; better to be the heron than the herring. It’s your heritage. Is it heavy? Did that headline hurt? Is that history harrowing? Hollow out your heart and pack the hole with hay. Pack it with holly if you miss the sensation of pain. You’ll habituate. You’ll learn to handle the heat, or you’ll be the hog. You’re the horizon, the highway, the hitcher, the hatchet, the stopping car, the house up the road. How far are you going? How far are you willing to go?
Looking at Mapplethorpe’s Polaroids, I learn that he liked shoes and armpit crotch-shots of men and women, both shaved and un’—all giving a good whiff to the camera. But best of all are his pictures of ordinary phones which convey a palpable sense of expectancy as if at any moment, one of the fabulous, laconic nude men strewn about might call. One could pick up the receiver and hear the garbled sound of ancient Greek and Roman voices reveling in the background. But even when silent, the dingy phone is a sex organ—cock asleep in its cradle.
Every once in a while white lines appear in my field of vision, curling sometimes at the top of it and I realize once again that there is an invisible rectangle around everything. How do I know it’s there? I just put it there, that’s how. And those white lines? Little hairs straggling from my eyebrows.
“It was not gay, that life.” You can’t “make me small,”
you “can’t put me down” or take away my job
I am immune,
although it is not gay. Why did we come at all,
consonant to whose bidding? Perhaps God is a slob,
playful, vast, rough-hewn.
Perhaps God resembles one of the last etchings of Goya & not Valesquez, never Rembrandt no. Something disturbed, ill-pleased, & with a touch of paranoia who calls for this thud of love from his creatures-O. Perhaps God ought to be curbed.
Not only on this planet, I admit; somewhere. Our only resource is bleak denial or anti-potent rage, both have been tried by our wisest. Who was it back there who died unshriven, daring to see what more could happen to a painter with such courage.
Source: Berryman, John, and Michael Hofmann. The Dream Songs , 2014, p. 257.
I only intend to send word to my future Self perpetuation is a war against Time Travel is essentially the aim of any religion Is blindness the color one sees under water Breath can be overshadowed in darkness The benefits of blackness can seem radical Black people in America are rarely compulsive Is forbidden the only word God doesn’t know You have to heal yourself to truly be heroic You have to think once a day of killing your self Awareness requires a touch of blindness & self Importance is the only word God knows To be free is to live because only the dead are slaves