An Urge to Flex Everything

“I seem to be very and/or, / with an urge to flex everything until it loses / what I secretly feel to be its false polarity.”

‘Solidus’ by Ron Padgett

Why am I making myself
do and be things that I don’t really want to?
Because I have an idea of what I should be doing and/or
I don’t have an idea of what I really want to be and/or do.
And/or both. I seem to be very and/or,
with an urge to flex everything until it loses
what I secretly feel to be its false polarity.
E.g., there is a such thing as good and
such a thing as evil, it’s just
that they aren’t opposites.
Am I a good person? Yes, after
a certain point, and no, after another.
Deep down I’m just down there, a kind of gurgling
black Jell-O that doesn’t have any idea
of what’s going on up here. Up here
I have on a baseball cap and have
a vague desire to fix the closet door.


Source: Padgett, Ron. Collected Poems. , 2013. Print, p. 503.

Photo: Main Street, New Paltz; Nov. 6, 2020; Joe Gerace

Miedo y Reminiscencia

Wikipedia Poem, No. 952

Traffic Study, 2019

— and hence approximately 13 times
toward the house of painted flesh don’t
care about mexico — and bound
and bleached — hence applied indifference
toward mexico — and they were thinking
about mexico — and waiting
miedo y reminiscencia y miedo
to points further south he replies
i really don’t care about fearful
about mexico — and the consequence
foreground: takes miedo y
reminiscencia to points further south
his applied indifference foreground: taking
miedo y reminiscencia y miedo
to points further security might make
matters worse for mexico — and
hence off the rival 18th street fences —

‘pleasure from a great distance’

IMG_1942

 

i thought about buying him
an iphone case someone else
how far back must he go
his machine his pink paint
his spotify playlists a kiss
his freedom like mock-tender hands
duct taped behind his back
just in case