skinny arms so tired sunday
times spread across the table
kenny clark barely ascendant
over the twitching din of cars
i sense that love has passed
not chasing the bus

alive three hours now
in northern new jersey
a stand-in for the hudson
which shadows the soul
four fingernails peeling off
a little dead skin

[unfinished, 052920110832]

page after page plate
after plate it is obvious
to one willing to study
there are no straight lines.

young queen victoria
tightens her pelvic muscles
with temperate purpose
eliminates the last remaining
vertical slash.

i’ve tipped the begging dog
victoria’s cocksure grip on graphite
the trumpet-like moon the hat implies
behind the nightly swirl of trees.

i see watercolor for the first time
do not retreat into its motion
its high-wire act black and gold
gold and black i am willing to study.

i must be unafraid
not
i must be brave
a handwritten list, graphite experiences
dry sketches, without love and attention
will i dismiss their power?

panicked gasps pass my lips, but salt water burns
a gash from my nostrils, looking out toward the sand
surviving sunbathers and settling, hungry seagulls.

self-pity; stretching and sated; energy depleted by noon
memory a once-rich ruby red awning faded by the sun
self-pity; inevitable avoidance; lingering locks of liquor
lump in the gut; imagine that i am afraid to hold you
self-pity; you will lose me in the fog; it is quiet here now
the world feels at peace losing sleep, the street humming white.

simple rebellions; (self-pity) (compelled to compete (
to make a mark) ) despite; simple rebellions;
(self-pity) (
(self-pity) (apathy) (patience reduced over a low flame;
(self-pity) )

 

i trust that sand
settles where it must
and waves will lure
shells and lust
back into the sea.

Hips.
Lips.
I’m Lost.
Here.
It can’t Last.

Lips.
I’m Lost.
Here.
It can’t Last.
Hips.

I’m Lost.
Here.
It can’t Last.
Hips.
Lips.

Here.
It can’t Last.
Hips.
Lips.
I’m Lost.

It can’t Last.
Hips.
Lips.
I’m Lost.
Here.

 

there is nothing to compare to their stare
not hiding your small gold watch
on my wrist
hoping they notice
because
faces are meaningless and empty
the feedback loop is particularly important

and I draw their attention up towards it

with a nod to the drummer
the band settles beneath the noise
& the lights go zero
there is stillness and nothing
can compare to their still, stifling stare
and your small gold watch should shelter me
your small gold watch should shelter me
your small gold watch
watches me
watch.

for Herman Dune performing in Barcelona in the summer of 2009

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